Alone
by Callie982
Summary: Alone. John Egbert is alone. Everyone at school hates him and his own father ignores him. He can't bear to tell his friends the truth, so he has to deal with everything on his own. Eventual JohnDave.


**Happy 4/13! This fic was rushed out because I wanted it to be published today. Please enjoy anyways!**

**Warnings: There will be angst, bullying, abuse, depression, swearing, and more. Also a m/m pairing with JohnDave.**

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**Chapter 1: EB: Have a Suckish Birthday**

Today is April 13th, also known as John's birthday. His 16th to be exact. But he's not having a party. And he's not having friends over. Mainly because he doesn't have any friends.

Well, that's not technically true, since he does have his pesterchum buddies, but they apparently don't count since they're internet friends. At least, that's what people at school told him anyways.

His English teacher always gave out candy bars to all her students who had a birthday during the school year. But she didn't have one for John. She told him that she forgot to buy one, with a completely insincere smile spread across her wrinkled face. John didn't believe her one bit. Several of his classmates laughed at this.

"Not even Mrs. Hooper likes him," they said.

"And she likes _everyone_," another chuckled.

John merely shrugged and ignored their comments. Sure, it would have been awesome to have that candy bar, but truth be told, he didn't really care. Besides, he was used to people forgetting about him anyways.

School went by pretty normally, barely speaking a word in any of his classes, keeping his head down in the hallway and trying to avoid the jocks (which he was unsuccessful at, per usual), and getting a ton of homework that John knew he wouldn't do. He used to be really good in school, but that was back in middle school, and before John came out. Now, John barely paid any attention to the lessons, never turned in assignments, and was failing nearly all of his classes.

He was struggling to get by every day, but he knew that when he got home and avoided a confrontation with his dad, then he could go on pesterchum and message his friends. He could chat with Dave and Rose and Jade and everything would be fine. They didn't know what a nerd he was, even though Dave sometimes called him Egderp or Egdork, but it was all in good fun. None of his friends knew the true him.

And he wanted to keep it that way.

He supposed that everything had started when he entered high school. John had "come out of the closet" to his friends at school, and everything went downhill from there. No one else at his school in Washington had been gay, so they isolated John and made fun of him for it. The few friends he did have quickly abandoned him, but after awhile, John didn't really care about them all that much. It still hurt when he thought of them, but not as much as it used to.

It had been a mistake to tell his father, however. John's dad was extremely religious, ever since his Nanna had died all those years ago. John was raised as a Christian like his father wanted him to be, but by the time John was ten, he realised that he didn't believe in God. To say his father was disappointed was an understatement. John stopped going to church with his father on Sundays, and his dad barely spoke to him after that. Their relationship had been rocky from there, but over time it had improved. Slightly.

Then John just _had_ to go and tell his dad he was gay. A sharp pain had been delivered to his cheek in the form of a slap. "Get out of my sight," his father sternly told him. John obediently obeyed, retreating to his bedroom upstairs. He didn't talk to his dad much after that.

Since he had lost his friends at school and had been shunned by his father and peers, John decided not to tell his pesterchum friends about his sexuality. He didn't want them to abandon him like everyone else had.

Sniffing, John realised that a tear was slowly making its way down his face. He was currently laying on his bed, thinking over his past, something he didn't often let happen. But it was his birthday, so he decided that he was allowed to feel sad for a change. Usually, John would ignore his peers' treatment and his father's cold shoulder, but sometimes it just got to be too much for him to handle.

A distinct beeping sound brought John out of his thoughts. He realised that someone was trying to message him on pesterchum.

Wiping away the last traces of tears, John hauled himself out of bed and sat down at his desk. He noted that Dave was messaging him, ignoring the little flip his stomach did as he clicked on the chat.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 -

TG: hey dude  
TG: happy birthday  
EB: dave! i was beginning to think you forgot.  
TG: pfft how could i forget egderps bday  
TG: as if

John ignored the terrible nickname as his stomach did another excited flip, and he smiled widely at Dave's incoming messages.

TG: it would be like forgetting christmas  
TG: and then santa wouldnt give me presents cuz i forgot about his totally made up holiday  
TG: little fucker keeping all the presents to himself  
TG: and ill say greedy bastard give me my damn presents  
TG: so what if i forgot theyre rightfully mine  
TG: then ill drop some sick beats on his ass  
TG: the most delirious biznasty kind of shit so he knows i mean business  
TG: you know what im saying right  
EB: sure, dave.  
TG: so what did your old man get you for your 16th  
TG: it must be like raining fucking presents at your house  
TG: the smell of cake must be overwhelming

Frowning, John thought about what to type for his response. This type of problem had come up before in the past few years, where his internet friends had come close to finding out about John's dad or mean schoolmates. He couldn't just tell his best bro that his dad didn't get him anything for his birthday. John thought he was prepared to lie to Dave about this, but his fingers hesitated on the keyboard.

TG: yo  
TG: earth to john  
TG: you still there  
EB: yeah, sorry. my dad was just calling me down for cake.

John facepalmed at his stupidity. While he was thinking of a reply, he had kept Dave hanging! So he replied with the first thing that came to mind: cake. Even though his dad hadn't made him a single cake in years.

TG: oh then do you need to go  
EB: no it's fine! i can go later.  
TG: awesome  
TG: so what did he get you  
EB: oh, you know. another life sized harlequin.  
TG: seriously  
TG: didnt he get you one of those last year too

John mentally scolded himself for his mistake. He had told Dave on his last birthday that his dad had given him a harlequin. And the year before that. And another year before that. John really needed to come up with some new fake present ideas for next year.

EB: yeah. i guess he thought it would be funny? now i have, like, four.  
TG: yeah like what the fuck dadbert  
TG: the last thing you need is another fucking clown  
EB: harlequin.  
TG: whatever  
TG: those things are creepy as shit  
TG: my presents a lot cooler though  
EB: you sent me a present?

John perked up at the thought. He hadn't really been expecting anything today.

TG: yeah i sent it in the mail last week  
TG: so it should come in today hopefully  
TG: unless the mailman screwed it up or some shit like that  
EB: that's awesome! i'm so excited! :B  
TG: chill dude  
TG: its just a normal gift  
TG: but i guess you can freak out because it IS an awesome present  
TG: especially since its from me  
EB: now i have something to look forward to!  
EB: i better go check the mail then, huh?  
TG: knock yourself out  
EB: kay! be back soon.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:43 -

John minimized the chat screen, and looked out the window. His dad's car was in the driveway, and the mail flap was down. That meant his dad had already gotten it. With a sigh, John cautiously made his way down the stairs. He had been avoiding a confrontation with his dad for awhile, but John really wanted to know what Dave's present was.

A sweet smell wafted up from the kitchen, and with a start, John realised that his dad was making a cake.

Even though he hated all confectionary with a burning passion, John deeply missed the smell. It reminded him of happier times, long before his dad began ignoring him and when Nanna was still alive and well.

John spared the picture of his Nanna over the fireplace a quick glance before making his way towards the kitchen. John hid by the wall, and peeked inside to see what his dad was up to. His nose didn't deceive him, for his father was letting a freshly baked vanilla cake cool on the counter. His dad had his back to him at the stove, doing some other preparations for dinner, it seemed.

A large red box caught John's eye from the counter, and he realised that it must be Dave's present to him. After all, Dave _always_ gave him red presents. John was about to enter the kitchen when his dad turned towards the present. John stayed in the living room, waiting to see what his dad would do.

His father picked up the box, inspected the label, before promptly throwing the gift in the trash.

John felt his heart sink. He was hoping that since his father was making cake, his old man might be ready to accept John for who he was. But it looked like John was wrong, for his father then grabbed the cake pan and dumped the baked good in the garbage. John bit his lip to prevent the tears from coming. He had already cried once that day, and once was more than enough.

He treaded silently through the living room, not wanting his dad to know that he had been watching him. Once he was back in his own room, John took several deep breaths to steady himself. His computer made a dinging noise, alerting him to another message. Sitting at the desk, he noticed that Dave was messaging him. With a sigh, John pulled up the chat.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:55 -

TG: did it come yet  
EB: yep!  
TG: and  
EB: and i love it! thanks dave!

John felt terrible for lying to Dave about this, but he very well knew that he couldn't just go back downstairs in the kitchen and retrieve his present from the trash. _Besides, it's probably all covered with cake or something,_ John reasoned. Though he knew it was just an excuse so he didn't have to go face his dad.

TG: no problem  
TG: knew a dork like you would like it

Another ding sounded. This time it was Jade.

EB: gotta go. jade's messaging me.  
TG: kay  
TG: see ya later

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:01 -

Exiting his chat with Dave, John pulled up a new window with Jade.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:01 -

GG: hi happy birthday john! :3  
GG: john?  
GG: you there? ?  
GG: helloooooo? ?  
EB: hi jade! sorry, i was chatting with dave.  
GG: alright. happy birthday though!  
EB: thanks. :B  
GG: did you get a mountain of presents for your sweet 16?  
EB: i'm pretty sure only girls celebrate their sweet 16. and there was no mountain.  
GG: awww :(  
EB: dad and dave still gave me presents though!

John half lied. Yeah, his dad got him nothing, but Dave had at least tried.

GG: thats good then! and i sent you a present too! :D  
GG: though it might take time getting to you since i only sent it today... lol.  
EB: lol, it's ok. i'll get it eventually.  
GG: great then :)  
GG: oh no!  
GG noooo!  
EB: what's wrong?  
GG: bec is chewing up my shoes! :o  
EB: oh no! :B  
GG: bad doggy!  
GG: sorry john! i gotta go save my shoes  
EB: it's ok, i understand.  
GG: ok, then i will talk to you later then. see you! :3

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:24 -

John shook his head with a chuckle at Jade's crazy and hyperactive attitude. _I guess some people never change._

He sat at his desk, idly wondering what to do. He didn't get a mountain of presents, but he did have a mountain of homework. Of which John had no intention of doing. He also didn't feel like pestering Dave anymore, especially since he hadn't gotten his best bro's gift. _Oh well. At least I have Jade's present to look forward to._

Another ding sounded from his laptop; this time it was Rose. But John didn't really feel like messaging her back. Today had been an exhausting day– both mentally and physically. Some of the jocks had gotten pretty rough with him in the halls earlier. Even though it was still really early, only 5:30 at the moment, John was ready for bed. He hadn't been sleeping well for a while, so he supposed an early night wouldn't hurt.

He shed his school clothes in favour of his ghost buster pj's, which still fit him from when he was thirteen. Though he hadn't really grown much since then, neither height nor weight. John tried not to look at his too skinny body as he changed; he didn't like looking at all the bruises or his clearly visible ribs.

John then crawled under his covers, setting his rectangular glasses off to the side. He tried to ignore the bright light that filtered in through the windows, and John was reminded that it was was only 5:30 on a Tuesday evening. Sighing, John thought of his schoolwork and upcoming tests, debating on whether he should study or not. _Not,_ John decided. It didn't really matter if he failed his tests, because it wasn't like his dad cared either way. So why should he bother trying in the first place?

His thoughts then drifted off to his father, who he thought was finally coming to terms with everything. _Apparently not._ He remembered how his father had thrown away Dave's present to him along with the freshly baked cake. Even though John hated cake, he gladly would have eaten a slice if his father offered.

_Whatever. Birthdays suck anyways._

With a deep sigh, John eventually drifted off to sleep, pushing all other thoughts out of his mind.


End file.
